All That Needs to Be Said
by Impersonating-an-entity
Summary: Fluff JinXTouya, rated for death and light limeish stuff. Cutesy fic. If I summarize, It'll give it away.


Why don't I need words with you, Touya? I mean, yeah, I ramble a lot, but that's just 'cause the stuff I want to say…. I can't. You look at me with those crystal blue eyes, and I feel like I'm the only one in the world you're listening to, like I have your total attention. Most people just blow me off. Not you. And then I feel like you're the only one that matters.

So, I ramble on, with no clear point in mind, and you just sit there, listening attentively, commenting now and then when I finally stop to take a breath. And I talk about whatever I see, and whatever is happening, and whatever comes to mind, and what I meant to say goes out the window. I just can't say the important stuff. Yet you listen like what I'm talking about is the most important thing in the world.

Every now and then, I wish you would just shake your head and glare at me with those glacial eyes and tell me to shut the fuck up, like everyone else. At least then, I might not be so confused. Or maybe I would stop going over the minutia and get to the point that I always mean to make but never do.

I think you know what I'm trying to say. And I think you feel it too. Except, for you, it's easier not to say anything at all. Where as I can't stay that quiet that long…. Least, not if I don't have to – I couldn't be a Shinobi if I couldn't shut-up at least sometimes.

* * *

You were sitting on a low branch, your feet dangling over the ground, and that expectant look in your eyes – It was so cute! And I was hovering cross-legged above the ground. I was talking, glancing at you every now and then, afraid to stare.

Then you slipped off the branch and stepped over to me and put your finger to my lips, and I looked at you, surprised.

"Hush, Jin. Just for a moment… and just be here…." you said.

I was confused already, but then you moved your finger and replaced it with your lips – I think it's safe to say I was shocked.

My eyes opened wide and I was too startled to even react. At least, not the way you normally want someone to react when you kiss him. Then you tilted your head forward, breaking the contact of our lips, resting your forehead on mine, our noses barely touching.

I felt your breath against my skin: this delightful warm and cool, this real smooth wind. Your eyes were closed, and you just stood there like that, and I put my arms around you after a moment, when I was sure it was real.

Then I realized I was still sitting in the air and it occurred to me it might feel more natural if I was standing too. So, I dropped my legs, and was conveniently able to stand a little closer to you for it. But I didn't expect you to press up against my body like you did.

And your eyes flicked up at me, and since I had to change position, now you were looking up at me, rather than us being at equal height. And this time, I kissed you, and it was warm and soft and perfect, and felt your hands sliding up and down my back, and I just held you tightly, almost lifting you off the ground.

And when we finally parted…. "Thanks…" you said. "I just needed… to make the memory…" you continued, and I got confused again, but you just pressed the side of your face against my chest, breathing softly. "I'm really sorry…" I heard you mutter, and wondered what you were talking about. But you talked so little. I didn't want to say anything, for fear you would assume it was up to me to keep talking once I started. I thought you might continue.

But then we had to go back to the camp, and the next day, you were gone… We tried to track you, but you'd left dozens of fake paths. We never found you. I never found you. And if I hadn't been so sad, I would have been even more confused. Looking back on it now, I am confused. But at the time… I was too devasted.

I dropped out of the Shinobi and found Chuu – I figured he was amiable and he wouldn't ask too many questions. Or he wouldn't care about the answers, at least. Him and me became drinking buddies, and I lodged with him, but I still thought about you.

I used to be happy and energetic all the time, especially when I had some whiskey in me. But now I couldn't stop moping: I was depressed and wondering what happened, where you were, if you were safe, if you were happy (without me…?)… and except for looking for you (which was kind of stupid since I had no idea where to look anymore) I was pretty inactive.

Apparently, I wasn't too much better drunk either, and eventually Chuu said I was too much of a downer for him. I left.

* * *

Now I've got you in my arms, and I'll never let you go again. You're silent, but that's not surprising. But your body is so much colder than usual – not the usual cool but… cold. Your eyes are closed, and you don't seem to listen to me anymore when I talk. I wish you would, Touya.

I wish you would tell me why you left. I wish you would tell why I found you hidden, curled in the fetal position with both your arms slit from wrist to elbow on the inside. And I wish you would tell me why I found "Wind and Ice" carved on your upper arms.

I'm crying and I kiss you hungrily, but you're acting like I did that first time so long ago – unable to react… And your mouth doesn't taste like before. Before it was clean and sweet. Now… I don't really want to think about it.

* * *

Koenma says they hadn't expected me to find you and commit suicide like that. He says they won't really be ready for me in Reikai for another couple days. But he says he has a surprise for me.

And then one of the doors open, and you step out, smiling weakly, the only sign of your death being the two thin, faded scars down your arms. And we disappear into each other's eyes and that's really all that needs to be said.

* * *

Cliffy-ish… do I need to add a little more to this to make it satisfying, or is it better left like this? 


End file.
